Instinctive Parenting: Trusting Ourselves to Raise Good Kids
I wrote this book while I was a new mother and also working as the founding editor-in-chief of Babble.com, the online parenting magazine. It’s part memoir and part manifesto against the hysteria and judgment I was seeing around seemingly straightforward and very personal parenting decisions, like whether or not to breastfeed, co-sleep, sleep-train, circumcise, or buy a crazy-expensive stroller.
The book is, I hope, an antidote to all those thou-shalt-not pregnancy and parenting books that had me so stressed out as a new mother. One chapter is called “How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Baby,” and that’s really what the whole book is about.
THE PRESS RELEASE
From the founding editor-in-chief of Babble.com, a complete and completely reassuring guide that will show parents how to abandon their insecurities, trust their instincts, and enjoy raising a happy, considerate child.
What’s the right way to parent? Venture into any playground or online message board and you’ll find as many opinions as there are adults present. Every subject — from sleep training to time-outs to pacifiers — has its supporters and detractors, and every viewpoint can be backed up by a truckload of research and statistics.
It’s enough to reduce a new parent to tears, if the 3 a.m. feedings and endless recitations of Goodnight Moon aren’t doing that already. Yet there is a way to end the madness, to calm your fears, and to make those precious early years a source of joy for both of you. Ada Calhoun, a young mother herself, infuses Instinctive Parenting with the smart and candid approach that earned Babble an ASME nomination for General Excellence Online and close to two million readers. Her simple yet profound advice: Find what works for you and your family and ditch the anxiety and judgment.
Everyone wants to do what’s best for his or her child, yet the fact is there is no universal “best.” Whether you start solids at four months or eight, whether you co-sleep or Ferberize, whether Junior’s mac’n'cheese is dayglo orange or 100 percent organic matters a lot less than other parenting books — and other parents — might have you believe. What does matter is providing the few absolute essentials (love, food, shelter) while teaching your little one how to be a kind, responsible human being. With its compelling mix of entertaining, hilarious fi rsthand accounts and refreshing common sense, Instinctive Parenting will show you how to do that — and even show you how to retain your sanity, your friends, your sense of humor, and your personal life in the process.
PRAISE
“With Instinctive Parenting, Ada Calhoun has captured the zeitgeist of the postmodern American family in the uniquely compelling voice that has made her the brightest star in the new generation of parenting writers. I loved this book and can’t wait to hand it out to all of my pregnant friends.” — Katie Allison Granju, author of Attachment Parenting
“Why did I ever worry about motherhood? I read this book and was instantly cured!” — Lisa Crystal Carver, author of Dancing Queen
“Thank you, Ada Calhoun! Instinctive Parenting injects sensitivity, smarts, and a welcome dose of sanity into the often-overwrought process of raising kids. Prospective parents: Never mind What to Expect — this is What You Need.” — Pamela Paul, author of Parenting, Inc.
“This book is light and funny and also very wise and wonderful.”– Tara McKelvey, author of Monstering
“From the delivery room to the playground and beyond, Ada Calhoun bravely defies the cult of perfection today’s new parents must endure. No bossy, patronizing advice given here, Instinctive Parenting simply encourages parents to rely on their own good judgment and trust themselves (and each other) to raise their children — not perfectly — but perfectly well.”– Kathryn J. Alexander, coauthor of Easy Labor: Every Woman’s Guide to Choosing Less Pain and More Joy During Childbirth
“I love this book. It’s smart, funny, and easy to read. More importantly, it’s an advice book that 1) won’t stress you out, and 2) is worth its weight in gold.” — Kathleen Hanna
“The book I’ve been desperate for has arrived — a common sense and compassionate approach to helping parents navigate the task of raising a child. Most importantly, it reminds us we are not alone and that we can trust ourselves.” — Lili Taylor
PRESS
“[Ada] Calhoun’s simple, yet convention-bucking, directive? ‘Go with your gut.’ Former Babble.com editor-in-chief Calhoun is a soft-spoken peroxide blonde with a young son and a teenage stepchild of her own. In her funny, confessional work, she argues that as Generation X has risen up and taken its place at the minivan driver seats of modern culture, it’s overcompensated for the laidback attitude of its Boomer parents with an obsession with hyper-parenting that borders on the unhealthy.” – The New York Post, April 2010
“Consider [Ada Calhoun] the feminist lit voice for a back-to-basics approach to mamahood in the era of ‘helicopter parenting,’ the obsessive Gen X and Y response to the laissez-faire style of their parents.” – Bitch magazine, May 2010
“In Instinctive Parenting: Trusting Ourselves to Raise Good Kids, [Calhoun] lays out an incredibly simple strategy for mothers who feel overwhelmed: just relax, and trust your instinct. She discusses everything from anxiety-inducing mommy blogs, to over-the-top birthday parties for children who haven’t yet even mastered the art of sitting up. She advises mums to take a deep breath, and back away from the craziness.” – The Irish Independent, May 2010
“A New Parenting Book Offers Some Refreshing Advice: Stop Listening To Others When It Comes To Raising Your Kids—And Start Listening To Yourself” – New York Family, April 2010
“[Ada Calhoun] does a wonderful job of letting us into her little corner (and I do mean little–she packs three people into 500 s.f.) of the parenting universe. The best part of the book? The complete lack of parenting advice. Amen. We’ve have enough good information already. Instead the gifted mom gives us personal essays on why she made the choices she made and how she lives her life. She believes the best choices come “organically.” Thank you Ada for your honesty.” – MomTrends, April 2010
“Ada Calhoun, author and founding editor-in-chief of Babble, has a few tips for all you helicopter mommies who are hunting for the perfect stroller. On the top of the list: Relax!” – MomLogic, March 2010
“So how can a worried parent calm down? Calhoun says she’s found some sanity by staying focused on her son’s core needs of shelter, food and love. And she tries to remember her goal is to raise a decent and kind person who can eventually take care of himself. Focus on that ultimate goal and you’ll be less likely to waste precious time worrying about things you can’t control, like the brand names and prices of your baby gear.” – RachaelRay.com, March 2010
“[Instinctive Parenting] is fabulous!” – Katie Allison Granju, Mamapundit
“[Instinctive Parenting is a sane, well-written and funny parenting book that is worth buying.” – A Child Grows in Brooklyn, March 2010
“Instinctive Parenting is a seriously fun romp through those querulous topics we love to chat about on message boards or at the bar where our babies are perched precariously on a stool (kidding).” — True/Slant, March 2010
“In her excellent, fun-to-read new book, Instinctive Parenting: Trusting Ourselves to Raise Good Kids.Calhoun argues that with all the conflicting “expert” advice (Cry it out! No, co-sleep!), we parents are just driving ourselves nuts.” — Strollerderby, March 2010
“I worked with Ada Calhoun at Babble, so I’m happily familiar with her refreshing and straightforward, no BS parenting philosophy. Today Calhoun’s book, Instinctive Parenting: Trusting Ourselves to Raise Good Kids($15.64) is hitting the shelves (Gallery, 2010) so the rest of you can kick back with a cup of coffee and enjoy thehilarious and insightful Gen X parenting book that reassures us we’re all doing just fine, thank you very much.” — Cafe Mom, March 2010
Instinctive Parenting is “a collection of essays celebrating the smartest parenting expert—you!” – Redbook,March 2010.
“Why We Love It: If you’re the parent who steels herself before picking up a parenting book expecting to read just what you’re doing wrong, it’s time to start over with Ada Calhoun’s new book, Instinctive Parenting: Trusting Ourselves to Raise Good Kids. A mother and stepmother, Calhoun is careful not to judge anyone in her new book, which is the sort of guide that k
eeps you up into the wee hours saying, yes, yes, tell me more about how I can reduce my stress and be content in loving my child. Calhoun doses out the old staples of food, shelter and love in liberal amounts and Instinctive Parenting is a reminder that the global push to get back to basics should start inside our families. So when you’re up at 2 a.m. because the baby won’t sleep and you’re feeling like all your parenting choices are wrong, Instinctive Parenting will be the best friend who talks you off the ledge with a gentle reminder: you’re that baby’s mother, not anyone else.” – MomFinds, March 2010
Quoted in Chatelaine magazine. “Parenting by Panic” by Rachel Giese. Holiday 2009.
Featured as panel moderator in Time Out New York Kids‘ “Parental Guidance Suggested: Six Local Parents Share Their Biggest Fears — and Some Funny Stories — About Kids and Sex.” November 2009.
Quoted in “Today’s Tykes: Secure Kids or Rudest in History?” MSNBC.com. May 6, 2009.
Quoted in “The Anti-Schoolers,” New York Times. October 16, 2008.
“Healthy Babies Need Irony,” New York Times Sunday Styles, December 10, 2006.
